Hello boys, hello girls, hello world! It’s been a long and a quiet night during the quarantine, at least for some of us who terribly mourned the cancellation of most festivals and had to plan their summer all over again. MetalDays are off – which hit me the hardest, right in the childhood. I guess I’ll have to settle for being drunk in a bikini at the Jarun beach Žiraffa bar.
Luckily, here at Metal Jacket Magazine we’ve developed a nifty habit of creating our own events when we’re disappointed. I’m honored and proud to invite you all to the very first edition of the MetalGays Festival – to be held in Zagreb’s (in)famous Purgatory bar on the last weekend of July, in correlation with when the actual MetalDays festival was supposed to happen. You’re sad Valhalla festival is cancelled? It wasn’t gonna be good anyways, come give this a shot! It’ll be the worst three days of this already shit year!
This is also the very first band announcement to start the lineup of this momentous event: NEKROINVERTED will be the first headliner of MetalGays 2020!
With the new EP coming out this Saturday, Nekroinverted now finally have enough material to play a full set and so they will! Come lend them your ear and your shit-eating grin, you might just get trout-slapped. We’re taking a look at this new EP down below – make sure to follow the official MetalGays Facebook event and stay tuned for new info, band announcements, visuals and more!
Magija i koprofagija (I won’t translate anything this time, it’s pretty self-evident) consists of four new-old songs which you might have already heard if your Nekroinverted score card has perfect attendance. They’ve been played live but we can finally hear the tracks loud and clear thanks to the fantastic mixing and mastering done on this release. We’ve got a track about eating shit, a track about pissing yourself, one about being a fucking nerd and another about being a little bitch. Something for everyone. If you can’t relate to this EP in any way, you probably think too highly of yourself.
Veronika is a summer 2020 party hit, like one of those latino dance tracks Pitbull makes every year. You’ll hear it echo from every beach bar from Vrbik to Trešnjevka, that’s for sure. A lively circlepit starter about lady Veronica Moser, the legendary German actress who specializes in a certain type of adult entertainment you might love, or hate 😀 It’s important to note lady Moser personally approved the track, delighted that tales of her glory will be sung for years to come. People who didn’t sing along when this song was performed reported shitting their bed that night. PIP!
Tekući problemi. The theme of this track might not sound very magical at first, but it’s actually about the annoying trick your body pulls on you every time you have a beer – you piss out three. If you also rate pubs based on how neat the toilets are, you’ll understand. And if you’ve ever sold crack to buy rare playing cards, you’ll understand the next one too. Sex is nice, but destroying your opponent’s will to live with a sick combo feels even better.
If you think the Venom dude is ugly, wait until you see your own reflection after a Nekroinverted gig. Magic the Gathering can be sorted in ‘covers that are better than the original’ as it massively improves “Countess Bathory” – from a boring metal classic to yet another absolute party hit.
The real reason we’ve gathered here today is to bless you with the meanest diss track of the 21st century, Indie-rock. Don’t you hate it when you’re tryna decide which Croatian music festival to attend, but it doesn’t matter ‘cause the line-ups are all exactly the same? Yup, me too, and I promise you MetalGays will be different. No Porto Morto or Lika Kolorado or Pips Chips or some other soul-sucking bullshit like that, only the worst of the worst of the local metal scene. As a matter of fact, Indie-rock is the official festival anthem and the only song you can actually listen to before Saturday.
There’s also a low-budget travesty of a video to go with it (no cats were harmed in the making) which, I will warn you, contains surgical gore and shouldn’t be seen by the faint of heart, children or people who make indie-rock music. We’re also counting on your vote to make this cynical tune Muzika.hr’s single of the week, because Ogenj already have enough fans and getting beat by Massimo would be fucking embarrassing.
Going months without a concert can undo a person’s psyche and I’m lucky I came out barely sane enough to write this text. After all, not many bands are as important as Nekroinverted (only three more texts and they’ll give me my soul back). Magija i Koprofagija – out this Saturday, 6.6.2020.
This concludes my return to the living world, I’m happy to be back and thrilled to wreck havoc on the scene once again, after it’s rebuilt to its former unglory. 1st stop – MetalGays festival. Be there or your mom gae. Ta-ta!